books

Molly Update

/ Lisa Poe / Leave a comment

There is a good chance you have forgotten about my yellow lab, Molly, and her handicap. I wrote about it in January 2024. It has been a minute. If you recently read my new book “Montana Wild Woman,” you will be more in tune with Molly and her fibrocartilage embolism, FCE.

You can buy my book on Amazon or click this link to read the blog post about what happened to Molly. (Yes, I’m going to plug my book whenever I can, as I’m not very good at promoting or self-aggrandizing. If you buy the book, please leave a review on Amazon. Thanks.)

Molly can walk using all four of her legs. It is not pretty, it is not efficient, and she does get open wounds from dragging the bad leg on dirt or pavement. We still have yoga mat pathways on our hardwood floors to keep her from losing her footing as easily. She still loves to swim. Swimming is her best activity for not feeling handicapped. She can not run. Okay, she can run, but she mostly runs with her massively strong front legs dragging her backend which is trying with all its effort to unsuccessfully keep up. She chases chipmunks at high speed in this manner. She will excitedly come to say hi to you in the same fashion. It makes everyone think we should amputate the bad leg. But they only see excited Molly trying to run. They don’t see Molly walk on her own for a mile on the soft flat trail by the river in Hamilton. They don’t see her walk out on the driveway every morning and keep watch as Brett takes a hot tub. The leg does work, just not 100%, maybe not even 50%, but it does work. As long as I see it attempting to work, I will not amputate.

It’s been exactly 19 months since her spinal stroke. I wish I had a Garmin on her wheelchair. I would like to clock how many miles she has put on it. I have a feeling the manufacturer never intended their dog carts to go on forest trails or fat tire biking in the snow. The cart has been welded, screwed and jury-rigged back to working multiple times. We’ve ordered replacement parts. The company was shocked to hear the parts had worn out. Brett has greased and repacked the wheel bearings several times. Molly takes it in the river to get a drink. It is probably time for a new one.

The fat tire biking was a mistake as her wheelbase was wider than the trail. She flipped in the cart on a downhill, and we had to stop and get her back upright. Picture a turtle on its back, but a panicked turtle who is fighting to right herself.

Molly still goes to a chiropractor, a new one. Brett can also do spinal adjustments on her now. He does PT on her every night. She still uses her ramp to get in and out of the car. She still has a ramp at both of her dog doors. Our bed is on the floor with no bed frame and no box springs. She can easily get into bed with us. Everyone who sees her and doesn’t know her just assumes she is an old dog. She is six.

I follow an FCE support group on Facebook. I’m hoping to see a new treatment, medicine, or PT that will help her get better faster.

I backpacked to the magical camping spot on Big Creek and talked to the large tamarack trees, asking them to communicate with their friends and send their healing magic to Molly. She has been walking better since that trip.

I would love to take her backpacking again. Nerve damage takes time. She will get better; she might not backpack, but she will get better.

What book am I going to recommend for this Wild About Books blog? Currently, I’m reading “Parable of the Sower” by Octavia Butler for my book club. I’m also reading “The Awakened Brain: The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest for an Inspired Life” by Lisa Miller. Both books touch on a “new age” thought process. “Parable” is a dystopian book in which the protagonist is writing her own Bible as she goes through the destruction of a world that has gone rogue through dishonest, greedy politicians. The Bible and the religion of her preacher father don’t give her what she needs. The book is every man for himself and your best protection is a gun, but as the book progresses you realize that the best protection is a community of people who are willing to look out for each other.

“Awakened Brain” is about how spirituality(not religion) is an innate desire in everyone and should be explored and not suppressed. The book encourages seeking out serendipitous events, believing in intuition, feelings and believing that the universe has your back. To believe that people enter and leave your life for a reason not by chance. Things will work out in the end. I find that it would be difficult to live in this world without that belief. If you believe the world is out to get you, you’ll always be on the defense, always expecting the worst. This would be depressing. This is the basis of the book, that spirituality is the gateway to curing depression. It is the gateway to believing that your energetic young lab is unable to run with her friends and there must be a reason, a lesson to be learned by all.

I was so excited by Molly’s progress that I took her for a walk without her cart. She started poorly and then got worse. She drank from the river, and her bandage got wet and fell off on the way back. She dragged the leg, and her wound opened. I tried to wrap up her bleeding wound with the wrecked bandage, but it came off. This is how we hobbled back to the car, rewrapping, rewrapping, rewrapping. Her paw was trashed.

I’m an idiot. I’ve done this before. Had major optimistic feelings of her progress and healing, only to have been over-enthusiastic. One step forward, two steps back. Should I amputate? Could she learn to run on three legs and get to be an energetic lab again? Is the other leg strong enough from the injury to carry the weight of her back end? Fuck.

I’m watching impatiently for a serendipitous event.

More great adventures and book recommendations can be found on my blog “Wild About Books.” Hit the follow button.

Retirement Rocks

/ Lisa Poe / Leave a comment

My friend Allison is in 4th grade. She told her mom, who replaced me as the business manager at Darby Public School, that Lisa couldn’t retire. Her mom asked her why not. Allison said Lisa bikes, skis, snowboards, hikes, and in Allison’s eyes, this was not what “retirement” meant.

I’d planned it this way. I would be done when I turned 60, and I could collect my public employee’s retirement. And when it worked, I was in shock.

Here I am. Not in an office, not answering phones, not dealing with passwords, a multitude of software upgrades and changes, computers, internet, sickness, and people coming and going. I stayed for the pension. And now here it is.

I have ginormous plans. I have not stopped. I own four bikes: a road bike, a mountain bike, a gravel bike, and now a fat tire bike. I’m lifting heavier weights at the gym, finally increasing my weights. I have a season pass to Lost Trail Powder Mountain. I mean, I did. What?

When I turned 18 years old, it was legal to drink alcohol. While I was 18 they changed the age to 19. When I turned 19 I was legal to drink. While I was 19 they changed the drinking age to 21. When I turned 60 I was able to get a discounted golden age season pass at Lost Trail Powder Mountain. While I was 60, they changed the age for the golden age pass to 65. UGH! I can’t win. Yes, I had a season pass, but now I don’t. I mean, I AM retired, on a fixed income and all.

It has been a learning curve to realize I don’t have to plan everything for the weekend. It has been a learning curve to stop rushing, to slow down. But I’m there. I’ve planned my first backpack of the season.

I’m able to ride bikes with Carol and all of her retired friends. The great-grandmothers. Yes, Carol and other Lisa are both great-grandmothers and they are also the two strongest riders in the group. There are men in the group too. This is not a pavement-pounding kind of group. They enjoy sharing the adventure, sharing the outdoors, and sharing the camaraderie. You never know who might show up for the ride. There is a core group of about 10 people whose average age is probably 70. It is my dream now to be as strong as they are. To be able to keep up. For now, I’m at the back of the pack. Maybe one day, when I’m a great-grandmother, I’ll be able to lead.

I have two part-time retirement jobs to supplement my income and pay for massages with Kaylee. I’m the Adult Education director at Darby Public School, and I’m the Adult Programming Director at the Darby Public Library. The library groups that I attend include drawing, knitting, writing, and book club. My couch in the living room is more of a large seat of activities. Sketch book, ink pens, pencils, yarn, books and a tea mug. I love retirement.

I am also able to read a lot. OK, not as much as you think, because of my new hobby of drawing, mostly pencil drawings, some ink too. I was just in an art show for beginning artists.

My mom gave me a bunch of inserts from her 100 Lipton Tea Bags box which neatly divide the tea bags into organized sections and also make great bookmarks. One side is slick paper and is perfect for my ink pens. I made bookmarks to give away at the art show.

I drew my dog Molly too.

But yes, I am still reading. I lead the library book club. Last month, we read a book I had not only already read, but I had also already recommended it on Wild About Books. For the first time ever, I’m recommending a repeat.

I highly recommend reading or re-reading “City of Thieves” by David Benioff. It may be the first book in which everyone in the book club gave the book two thumbs up.

More great book recommendations and retirement adventures can be found at Wild About Books. You can also find the compiled adventures in my new self-published book “Montana Wild Woman,” available on Amazon.

Quick Thank You

/ Lisa Poe / Leave a comment

My self published book, “Montana Wild Woman,” has an accumulated four-point-five star review on Amazon and one verbal review! Thanks, Carol.

Big shout out to all of my blog followers and Facebook followers for supporting me on my journey as an author. As of today I’ve sold 32 copies of my new book “Montana Wild Woman.” I want to apologize to all of my book readers for the typos and grammar errors that you have had to work through as you read. You’ll be happy to know, after making my many corrections, I have learned how to spell noise.

With the help of my adventure friend who happens to be the daughter of an English teacher and who may have found her new calling as a proofreader, I have corrected most of the errors and published the second edition. I know it seems backwards. I know I still feel impostor syndrome. I know my art teacher shakes her head in frustration when I say something negative about my creative endeavors.

You will now be proud to purchase this book as a gift for Father’s Day, birthdays or any other day that may require gift-giving.

You can share blog posts such as this one, with friends and family. You can even get on Amazon and write a review. Be like Carol.

Maybe you want to read more of my writing. You can always follow my blog Wild About Books. I’m also excited to self-publish my novel “Lucida Sans.” This time I’ll have Heidi proofread BEFORE I publish it.

I wrote “Lucida Sans” while experiencing the adventure known as perimenopause and was able to write all night instead of sleeping. I would have NPR news playing as background noise as I long-hand wrote in spiral notebooks. My characters guided my hand to tell their story. I filled up four notebooks before re-reading what I’d written.

The book is about a family growing up while fumbling through the unwritten rules of society. This family is not always aware of those rules. Life hits them with some upsetting realities and major bumps in the road as we experience how they navigate those bumps. Lucida Sans, better known as Luci, is the protagonist and narrator. We see the world through her eyes as she grows up with her older brother Times New Roman and little sister, Century Gothic. Their father, an author, named his children after fonts. The book deals with emotional health, racism, religion, homophobia and gun violence.

Once I have all of this off my plate, I will continue with my next novel.

The next book has no title at this time. The book is about an elderly woman who lives alone in the mountains of rural Montana. She has several male friends whom she has known most of her life. They are all widowed and are dealing with their offspring who are trying to get them to move to retirement communities. Life is very routine for them until a white cargo van with Idaho plates pulls up beside the woman as she is cross-country skiing from her friend’s house back to her house. Two men pull her into the van and demand that she give them all of her opioids. She doesn’t have any. The men don’t believe her. “All old people have opioids.” They take a baseball bat to her knees and drive her to the emergency room. “Come out with some opioids,” they demand. We see how the protagonist now lives life as a supplier of opioids to a drug ring, but can’t tell anyone for fear of being forced to move into a retirement home.

Writing has always been a dream of mine. My blog has given me an outlet to write and share my writing. This past spring Brett and I were doing a deep cleaning in our outside shed. We needed more room for the six bikes. While cleaning I came across papers I had written while in school that my mom had saved. I found two different autobiographies. One was written probably in sixth grade and one was written as a sophomore in high school. Both biographies ended with the desire to write books and be an author. I did not recall that this had been a lifelong dream until reading these old papers.

Also, if you need a great proofreader for your writing or websites, let me know. I’ll connect you with Heidi.

This is fun. Thanks again.

Montana Wild Woman

/ Lisa Poe / Leave a comment

I did it.

Published my book. It is available on Amazon. An ebook or a paperback.

WHAT?!!!!!

Yeah; I was really nervous about hitting the “publish” button on Kindle Direct Publishing. It felt so vulnerable. Like I was standing naked on the street.

Right off the bat I fucked up.

Version 1.0.0

I read my introduction as an ebook sample and the very first sentence is missing a coma. I would have never seen this in my draft. This was why I was nervous. What have I missed? What have I misspelled? And now I’m going to expose these mistakes to the whole world. I’M A FRAUD. I’M A PRETEND WRITER.

I couldn’t re-read the stories one more time. I didn’t see the glaring mistakes anymore.

I’m suddenly back in Algebra I class with Mrs. Idol at Western Guilford High School.

I’m sure I was an undiagnosed, on the spectrum, dyslexic. Luckily, I was given credit for doing the algebra problems correctly even though I rarely got the right answer. My numbers would get transposed along the way. I’d get a D and then get to take geometry. Theorems. Another D. Algebra II. It would have been better for me to fail the class and take it over than to be moved on to a more advanced class. My math books took a severe beating through the years resulting in hefty damage fees. My SAT scores were so bad in math that I was accepted to college only if I signed up for the remedial math classes. Vulnerability.

I knew the dyslexia existed when I worked my job at Bi-Rite Grocery store during my high school years. I would ring up a buggy full of groceries and say $89.67. The customer would look at the register and say $98.67. There it would be. Right in my face. I saw the correct numbers and totally said the wrong numbers. I heard myself say them. I’m an idiot. What is wrong with me?

Vulnerability. I would walk off the bus and into the high school while Andrew Martineau would walk right behind me quietly chanting “ug…ly…..ug….ly…….ug….ly…….”.

It took me three tries to pass my driver’s test to get a driver’s license. My mom took me. My dad took me. I think my dad’s wife took me the final time. I could drive. I could not drive with the driver’s exam person in the car.

My dad’s wife thought I might be gay since I didn’t have any dates in high school. She said it as if being gay were a fault, to be whispered about and kept tabs on. I didn’t play softball because I didn’t want people to think I might be gay, I had enough going against me already. I did play tennis my senior year of high school. An acceptable girl sport with no sexual labels. We had 12 girls on the team and I was ranked number 12. Kind of like my seat in band. Seat number 1 was the best. I had the last seat and pretended to play my clarinet for a whole year, then quit.

In my younger twenties, drinking alcohol and flashing my tits was a game changer. I would yell hooters, lift my shirt and was instantly the “fun girl”. I preformed and perfected the act of the full flesh flash for years. To this day, I can full flesh flash on my bike while riding no handed. I did not want to be known as “Lisa with the big nose and weak chin” as I had read on my chart at the orthodontist office while getting my braces tightened and rubber bands installed. I wanted to be known as “Lisa with the great tits”. It’s all about getting your arms up while you lift your shirt; everything else goes up too. It’s a great move.

Vulnerability. I’m better. Ever since I became a mom. Ever since I moved to Montana. But clearly it is in my skin, embedded. I think most people I know now would be shocked to hear of my insecurities.

I fear hitting the “publish” button. I could…… just not do it. No one would know I’m just a “writer want to be” who can’t spell.

Then there were the signs.

Yeah.

Literally signs.

I drove into Darby and there on the Bitterroot Community Federal Credit Union digital sign it said; “Believe in yourself”. I drive by that sign once or twice a day and it keeps telling me to believe in myself.

Then I went to my adult ed beginner drawing class at the Darby High School. The dated art room has a chalk board. On the chalk board was written in chalk; “Creativity Takes Courage!!! Henri Matissse”

I went home and hit “publish”.

I’ve been recommending books for over ten years on this blog and I am proud to recommend “Montana Wild Woman” by Lisa Poe as the book for this post. It may not be perfect. It might need some corrections. But I will lift my arms up high as everything else rises up. Thanks.

More great book recommendations and adventures can be found at Wild About Books.

Politics Part II

/ Lisa Poe / Leave a comment

Do you remember the end of the book “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”? The part where the Grinch has stolen all of the presents, all of the decorations and lights. Yet when the people of Whoville woke up, they still celebrated Christmas. This is how I feel about the results of the last election.

Don’t get mad. Don’t get revengeful. And certainly don’t think to behave as a bully. We will gather hands and join for the common good of all people. This is what keeps me hopeful. Unity and love for our fellow citizen.

Here’s my story of Carl.

Carl works out at my gym in Darby. The Right to Bare Arms gym. Carl likes to visit. He told me of his journey nearly a year ago, of joining the gym, changing his diet and losing lots of weight. He eats only orgnaic and has cut oil out of his diet. I’m not one to chat much at the gym, or ever.

Most mornings I would hear Carl talking to others. He told the owner Dana that there was a winter storm warning. He told her he wished Montana had harsh bitterly cold winters like he had when he was a kid; “that would run the Democrats off”.

Wait! What?

I shook my head disgusted with this mentality that seems to prevail and is the majority of thinking where I live. People don’t think twice about wearing shirts that say things like “Black Guns Matter” as if the whole world agreed with them.

Another day I heard Carl explaining to someone else how the government had controlled the weather and caused deadly hurricanes in swing states.

I told you, since the election, I have been emboldened to have the conversation with people. Not in a fake insincere way, ha……… if you know me, fake and insincere are not part of my makeup.

The next time I went into the gym I went out of my way to say not just “hi” to Carl, but to ask him if he lifts everyday. To chat. Smile. I know Carl had forgotten my name as we talked.

The next day he looked up when I came in and yelled “Hey Lisa”.

As he was leaving he asked what else I had planned for the day. I told him about purchasing a used Fat Tire Bike. He was intrigued. I told him I was going to go ride up Skalkaho, start at the gate, see if I could get to the falls.

The next time I saw him he asked how the bike ride went.

We have not and probably will not talk about politics. I’m a minority and don’t usually advertise my political leaning anyway. Although I did just buy a new sweatshirt that says “Denali”.

I was setting up to do a shoulder workout, Carl asked me if I’d seen the NOAA weather for January. “No”, I said. “Above average snow fall and two weeks of below zero temps”, he said. “Yes!” I replied. “I’m excited”.

“Right” he said. “Maybe that will run off all the …………”

Oh jeez, I thought. Here it comes. How am I going to reply to what is coming, I’ll just tell him. I’ll fess up that we don’t see eye to eye politically. I won’t let this determine our friendship. Hopefully he feels the same.

But what did he say this time?

“Right”, he said. “Maybe that will run off all the people not used to the cold and snow.”

“Yes, it probably will” I agreed.

And why are the political signs still up in Ravalli County. You won. Let’s be neighbors and take down the signs. They didn’t work anyway. I didn’t change my mind no matter how many signs we posted, or full color flyers I received in my mailbox, or hateful TV advertisements I saw. Want to change my mind, show some love and compassion for all humans.

In the last post about politics I recommended the book “Good Reasonable People” by Keith Payne. Since that recommendation, I have applied and received a grant from Humanities Montana to purchase 10 copies of this book for a book club in my community. I hope to attract people in and out of my bubble to read and attend this discussion.

I figured out where Carl lives and have walked by his house several times before without knowing who lived there. He has a sign on his front fence that says “Black Cows Matter”. He also has a full size confederate flag on his barn. There are no political signs, commercials, or flyers that set me off as much as seeing a confederate flag. To me that is a clear symbol of white supremacy, racism, a system of hierarchy. These are not acceptable to me. Now what do I do? Do I pretend like Carl is my gym buddy and return his fist bump? Do I ask him what that flag on his barn represents to him? Ugh. Maybe I invite him to the book club.

My book recommendation is “Democracy Awaking Notes on the State of America” by political historian Heather Cox Richardson. This book was published in 2023. The book gives you the history and background leading up to where we are now. This book may help you understand people who vote differently from you.

“But Trump had done his work too well. His propaganda, cruelty, and demonstrations of dominance had empowered his followers and made his leadership central to their identity.”

This is not a book that I would use in a public book club. This is a book for people who are bamboozled by the fact that people would vote for a convicted felon for president. I challenge any of you who follow this blog who voted for Trump to read this book.